What is happening to me?

My analogies scare me. Not because they are inherently threatening, but because I am reacting to food and literature in oddly parallel ways which contradict my nature. And that scares me.

Consider me first day of school in August, Confident and arrogant, I knew that I did not care about English class. I knew that I if I was given the option, I would drop English and take double research. I figured that I know how to write decently and seeing as that is all I will ever need to do English-wise I wished I could just say bye-bye to English and hello to freedom.

Anybody who knows me at all knows that I love my food and that I have a strong sweet tooth. I kept soda and pretzels and cookies in my locker as a pantry freshman year, I routinely bought snacks and kept them in my room sophomore year, and junior year it was not uncommon to find a box of cookies in my car that I would snack on while driving. I am always up to go to Taco Bell. Food is amazing, especially if it has starch or sugar or fat.

Fast forward a bit. As English class progressed, I initially had my thoughts confirmed. The independent reading list, after all, is very restricted, and not just to books that have more value to them than Harry Potter. The independent reading list is constricted to books that English professors like to waste time talking about. If it is a book that English professors as a general whole would like, it is applicable to Literature class, if not, it is not applicable to Literature class. That being said, class was somewhat more interesting than I had anticipated: even if I still considered reading stories like "Hills like White Elephants" an overall poor use of time, I did start to find some of the hidden meaning and purpose of literature interesting.

As this year started, I did nothing to change my eating habits. I just vowed, as usual, to exercise more for the primary purpose that I could eat more. I still kept cookies in my car, I still bought candy bars prolifically, I still had a tendency to eat chips every day at lunch. My teenage body can deal with it, I justified, I can worry about health when I am old. Of course, I am basically guaranteed to get diabetes when I am older... maybe cut back on sugar a little bit, occasionally order water at restaurants?

It started about a month ago. It was probably around when I read my independent reading book and actually found that it was a good book, or when I was forced one day to actually think about Literature and write a blog or an essay about it, but by now I have to say that Literature may not be completely useless after all. I am still to proud to say that I appreciate it, but I suppose it is only a matter of time before I do not have to wrap up that message in arrogance.

Two weekends ago I found myself at Kroger. I proceeded to by a package of cookie dough and eat almost half of it. Later that evening, I had a handful M&M's. Then I had some more cookie dough. When I got home from Youth Group, there was pie at my house. I had a piece with some ice cream. The next morning, I had the rest of the cookie dough for breakfast. It all tasted amazing, but I felt guilty that I was torturing my pancreas so much. So I decided that it would probably be a good idea to try to eat a bit healthy.

So we come to today. On day one of school I probably would have read every word of Wuthering Heights with a fresh sense of loathing seeping through my veins. But at this point I have to admit, the first two pages are mildly interesting, the next two pages are not too bad, the next two pages are bearable, the next two pages are merely annoying, and it is not until the ninth and tenth page that I start subconsciously reaching for the lighter fluid in an act of self defense. It could be worse, I suppose; at this point it is more the story than the book that is bothering me. I am starting to appreciate literature. What is happening to me?

Simultaneously with me realizing that Wuthering Heights is not all that bad, I started bring in lunch to school. Healthy lunch (I have staid true to Kroger and bring in all Kroger brand, however). Why would I do such a thing? Why, why, why, why, why? What is happening to me?

My lunch every day but Monday this week. Amazing, isn't it?

Granted, I, thankfully, have not been damaged by this unexpected change. I still would not simply read Wuthing Heights because I can, I would probably also avoid most Literature because there are other things I would rather do with my time. Within a two week time frame I am bringing a big bowl of pudding into school 3-5 times; I have sausage and pretzels with my lunch as well. But I do find it very odd that just as I blog about the connection between food and literature, I start seeing both good food and good literature seeping into my life in tandem. Very, very strange.